A Service of Silence & Beholding

A time of unhurried silence

in which to dwell at the heart of the Eucharist.

Sunday April 27th

8 a.m.

St. Mary's Church, Sullington, West Sussex, RH20 4AE

On this first Sunday following Easter the Gospel reading focuses on Jesus appearing to the disciples and on their seeing, not seeing and being seen

- themes which arise in John of the Cross ...

When you looked at me

your eyes imprinted your grace in me

for this you loved me ardently;

and thus, my eyes deserved to adore

what they beheld in you

John of the Cross - The Spiritual Canticle 

We gather in silence, coming just as we are, to seek the face of God and to wait upon the Divine presence. In and through our attentiveness, gazing and listening, the silence deepens, so we also depart quietly, taking what we have received into the day. There are no announcements; the spoken words are offered as stepping stones in the quiet, taking us deeper into silence. 

All is Eucharist.

Christ is Risen - Alleluia!

Encounter at Dawn

Meditation: Matthew 28:1-11 with ‘Encounter at Dawn’ art installation

Notes from my journal Sunday 25^th January 2009:

St. Beuno’s retreat centre, North Wales.

11.30am: have had the most wonderful walk up to the top of the hill this morning – wet and muddy underfoot – windy, but dry otherwise. As I walked I was aware of the two grieving Mary’s of the gospel – and at the same time of the steep little back road in shadow on this bright morning. Turning to take in the view and to rest, the A55 ribboned across the valley and for the first time I noticed a river, flat and lazy meandering its way through fields on the way to the sea. Both the road and the river had places of hiddenness in their lengths. Continuing on my walk, encircling the hill, coming to the summit in a roundabout oblique way, there were interruptions of stiles and gates. It was a welcome solitary walk with breath-taking views of hill and valley, farms, sheep, villages, sky, sky and more sky! Clouds were rolling in and in the distance, there were signs of rain. Standing on the top, encircled by light and space, I gave thanks and turned to leave – finding directly ahead, a rainbow above the bay – heaven touching earth – all the colours present – pure gift! My descent from the top of the hill had energy – a light step with a clear head and my body energised and refreshed.

4.25pm: Back in the art room, the A55 and the river informed the beginning of this painting. Two ribbons begin the journey, like hillside streams meeting and flowing together, the two Mary’s meet in the dark grey of dawn and journey together companionably in grief, supporting one another in love. This is a journey of knowing and unknowing – their way is not clear, either exteriorly or interiorly – the future is hidden from them – their present reality – their truth in that morning is one of loss and darkness. Their arrival at the tomb is interrupted – earthquake – dazzling light and an angelic presence. Like the stiles that lay across my path (which were not half as dramatic!) their encounter gives a new perspective and a threshold is crossed – from loss to hope, their journey becomes one of discovery that has a tomorrow. The message of the angel stays with them as they turn to head back – still with a mixture of fear and joy – the ribbon of their being adorned with the thread of hope… And then the encounter with the risen Jesus – who dispels all fear – their grief transformed to joy and the fire of his presence accompanies them – with energy and light back to the disciples. The journey now has a different colour & form – shot through with the energy of the Spirit enabling the message to be proclaimed in every encounter.

April 2011: Two years on, having translated that little sketch to canvas, the painting now also speaks to me of the poem by John of the Cross, the Dark Night of the Soul – where the soul, in darkness of unknowing, seeks her Beloved, and where the gift of encounter is that of Lover and Beloved.

“O guiding night! O night more lovely than the dawn! O night that has united the Lover with his beloved, transforming the beloved in her Lover.”

The Dark Night, stanza 5, John of the Cross

Today, I invite you to be with the image; a swirl of two energies becoming one – of longing and loving attention in the dark of grief being transfigured, set on fire with new life, in the gift of this encounter at dawn …

Peace be with you 

Tessa 

Good Friday

The Rose Within

The inspiration for this piece arose during a Contemplative Fire retreat on the Welsh coast in September 2007. This particular morning began with silence and insights from the Christian mystics, against a backdrop of stunning sea views, strong wind and glorious sunshine. Following this time of prayer and worship, I felt compelled to be alone, to have a time of reflecting on the place of compassion in the life of the contemplative and in our life as community.

I spent time in silence with the gospel passage for the day, then walked alone to the beach for fresh air and a leg stretch, returning at a slow attentive pace to my room and paints.

I am more than ever deeply struck by how silence enables creative spaciousness within and between – which I think of as being the seedbed for healing love. My aim was to try to represent imprisonment, mental and physical, and to explore how silence, inner silence, far from being an oppressive energy, is an agent of healing. I set about drawing a tangle of thorns and gorse, such as on the headland, hard and barbed, reminiscent of barbed wire – a ring of thorns emerged in my drawing - a crown of thorns – and in the space – the creative spaciousness of silence (created by the crown), a rose, complete with thorns, blooming.

This painting is my prayer offering for today – in colour, texture and form; a prayer which names and touches the places of pain in human lives; it speaks silently of the Presence revealed to us in Jesus Christ who enters the darkness with self-giving Love; it sings a hymn of praise to the One through whom all life is transfigured, silently, in the surrender of Love.

Peace be with you

Tessa Holland

God created through love and for love. God did not create anything except love itself, and the means to love. He created love in all its forms. He created beings capable of love from all possible distances. Because no other could do it, he himself went to the greatest possible distance, the infinite distance. This infinite distance between God and God, this supreme tearing apart, this agony beyond all others, this marvel of love, is the crucifixion. Nothing can be further from God than that which is made accursed.

This tearing apart, over which supreme love places the bond of supreme union, echoes perpetually across the universe in the midst of the silence, like two notes, separate yet melting into one, like pure and heart-rending harmony. This is the Word of God. The whole creation is nothing but its vibration. When human music in its greatest purity pierces our soul, this is what we hear through it. When we have learnt to hear the silence, this is what we grasp more distinctly through it.

Extract from "The Love of God and Affliction" in Waiting on God by Simone Weil

Maundy Thursday

Embodiment 

About this piece:

The washing of the feet of the disciples by Jesus is for me a powerful invitation to be present to the presence of Love; an invitation to be transfigured and transformed for the sake of Love.

It arose from meditating on the celtic insight that my feet are a sign of my presence*; I am more alive and aware of my surroundings when I have bare feet – the grass and dew of the morning in the garden, the sand and shallow waters of the beach, the careful and quiet tiptoeing so as to not wake a sleeping child….Yet I am also aware that for many, bare feet are not a choice, but the result of poverty, destitution, disease…a sign of our vulnerability and all too often a sign of our lack of love for one another.

The piece is my response to the invitation to be present, from the depths of my own vulnerability, to the presence of Love. Held and gently washed by Love. And in the being washed, being equipped to love - for justice to flow like living water…

Christ has no body now on earth but yours,

no hands but yours, no feet but yours,

Yours are the eyes through which

Christ’s compassion cares for the people of the world.

Yours are the feet with which Christ is to go about doing good.

Yours are the hands through which

Christ now brings a blessing.

Teresa of Avila

Contemplation is out of the question for anyone who does not try to cultivate compassion for others…For Christianity is not merely a doctrine or a system of beliefs, it is Christ living in us and uniting all people to one another in His own life and unity.

Thomas Merton (adapted to allow for inclusive language)

For reflection:

o   How do you feel about your feet? Your bare feet?

o   If you are able, spend some of today barefooted, so as to explore and discover a deeper sense of being present to the presence of Love.

o   In the example set by Jesus and in his command to ‘Love one another’, presence and justice are revealed as entwined; what invitation or challenge does this pose for you? 

Peace be with you

Tessa

*This theme is explored by J. Philip Newell in his book, Echo of the Soul; the sacredness of the human body. Canterbury Press.

Journeying at the Edge: The Quiet Garden and Contemplative Fire

Having been open since 1999, The Wild Fortune Quiet Garden will be closed from May through to the autumn for renovation of the garage and the creation of a prayer loft above. Affiliated to The Quiet Garden Trust, this home and garden offers a simple ministry of quiet prayerful space and has welcomed people from all over Sussex and beyond, all of whom have brought the gift of themselves into our home. Being still and quiet in the company of others, along with the opportunity to walk or sit outdoors, is gently restorative to body, mind and spirit. It is a ministry in which we feel deeply privileged to be involved and we look forward to being open again once the work is complete. 

Meanwhile, there are other Quiet Gardens in Sussex at Watersfield, Petworth, Selsey, Wadhurst, Cowbeech, and also at Fishbourne Church, Worth Abbey and Penhurst Retreat Centre. Contact details are available from The Quiet Garden Trust, either online at www.quietgarden.org, or by phone from the Quiet Garden office, Tel: 01494 569057.

Alongside this ministry is the hidden praying presence of Contemplative Fire: a community of Christ at the edge. Monthly on a Saturday morning from 8-10am at St. Mary’s Church in Sullington, we offer Still Waters: a time to enter silence, still the mind and encounter the present moment in quiet. This is open to all, no booking or experience required; for current dates, please see the separate page on this blog. Also monthly on a Sunday at 8am at Sullington Church there is A Service of Silence and Beholding, an unhurried time in which to dwell at the heart of the Eucharist.

On Saturday June 7^th there will be a Contemplative Fire Rhythm of Life all day event at Sullington Church and Tithe Barn. Details and booking forms are available from us. If you would like to be added to our email list to receive regular updates please be in touch via this blog.   

Peace be with you.

Tessa & Mark Holland

Still Waters

a time to enter silence, still the mind 

and encounter the present moment in quiet

Saturday 5th April

St. Mary's Church Sullington, West Sussex RH20 4AE

8  - 10a.m.

St. Mary's Church is a lovely quiet sacred place at the foot of the South Downs, but as those of us who gather there regularly have found, noises from the surrounding farmyard and the sometimes wild weather can challenge the attention and become a distraction. This session will offer a few insights on 'distractions' - both the internal chatter of thoughts and and the outer distractions of noise during contemplative practice.

You are welcome to come for either 8am or 9am, or to stay for the whole 2 hours. Whilst the weather is a little warmer than it has been, please bring an extra layer for comfort and warmth. 

Peace be with you